WONDALAND

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

4,736 notes

I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So much this…

When I’m at my worst, just being invited to drive with you while you run errands is often enough to keep me from doing a complete downward spiral, but please don’t guilt people for not being able to hang out… It’s the worst feeling of shame for having depression in the first place on top of worrying that you will lose those you love for being a shitty friend.

(via gallifreyglo)

(via dynastylnoire)

304 notes

Anonymous asked: I've seen various discussions happening around Adele's popularity being predominantly because she's white doing what black women been doing artistically/vocally for a minute. I'm curious what you think about that same idea in reference to Amy Winehouse, Sam Smith, Elli Ingram, etc. because it seems to me European whites have been grabbing at black R&B styles for a long while now. I see the same thing happening in the US with hip hop (Iggy, Miley, Timberlake). What's going on?

s20411:

reverseracism:

"Everybody wants to be a nigga, but nobody wants to be a nigga"

"Black Culture is always in style, black people are not"

The Kpop community does this as well.

- Susie

Susie,

Also seen it phrased as black culture is profitable and popular for everyone except blacks.

890 notes

CORONER CONFIRMS THAT POLICE KILLED VICTOR WHITE & THEN ALLEGED THAT HE COMMITTED SUICIDE WHILE BEING HANDCUFFED BEHIND HIS BACK: Coroner: Black Man Shot Himself in Chest With Hands Cuffed Behind Back [TW: Racism, Ethnocentrism, White Privilege]

youngpeopleofcolorinc:

thepoliticalfreakshow:

Coroner: Black Man Shot Himself in Chest With Hands Cuffed Behind Back

According to a coroner’s report obtained by NBC News, Victor White, a 22-year-old black man, committed suicide in the back of a police car by shooting himself in the chest while his hands were cuffed behind his back. The report contradicts the official police account, which said White shot himself in the back.

White died March 3rd in New Iberia, Louisiana, after a night spent hanging out with friends. He was stopped by police along with an acquaintance, Isaiah Lewis, on the way back from buying cigars at a local gas station. Cops found a small amount of pot on White during a pat-down, then ran the two men’s names through a database and called for backup. A second search yielded a small amount of cocaine, and White was arrested and placed into an Iberia Parrish police cruiser, where he allegedly produced a .25 caliber semi-automatic handgun and shot himself in the right side of the chest.

The story and the new coroner’s report raise several questions about the incident. One friend said White joked about having a gun earlier that night, but no one is on record as having seen one. If he did have a gun, why didn’t police find it during one of the two searches? How was he able to reach around and shoot himself in the chest with his hands cuffed behind his back? (The coroner’s report said it was possible due to White’s “body habitus.”) Why did police initially claim he shot himself in the back? Why didn’t the coroner find the gunpowder stippling common to close-range shots on White’s wound? White had a laceration on his face at the time of his death that Lewis said wasn’t there the last time two men saw each other, before White got into the cruiser. Where did it come from?

Louisiana State Police opened a still-pending investigation hours after White’s death, NBC reports, but White’s father, a Baptist minister, has doubts about what it will find. “You can’t make me understand,” Rev. Victor White II told NBC. “You can’t make me understand how my son took his left hand, when he was handcuffed behind the back, and shot himself. I don’t believe a thing they’re saying at this point.”

Because the investigation is pending, many pertinent details—including dash cam footage and the names of the officers present during White’s death—have not been released. The state police did release a preliminary incident report stating White had been shot with a .25 caliber handgun—not the .45 caliber gun Iberia police officers are issued—but that police hand’t found it during their searches.

[Image via NBC News]

Source: Andy Cush for Gawker

Let’s go people. Make this viral. The world needs to know it’s not Just Michael Brown. Cigars or no cigars. Weed or no weed. State sanctioned murder of brown people at the hands of law enforcement/military is one of the most heinous crimes of this century and It. Must. Stop.

(via gorillajean)

6,057 notes

ciarachimera:

aspensine:

aspensine:

ATTENTION!!!!!
This girl is believed to be in extreme danger. She went missing from her home in Grovetown, GA yesterday morning and is believed to be with a 28 year old male headed towards Oklahoma. Witness reports say they saw a young female who looks like her trying to climb out the back of a black SUV in Richmond County before it drove off erratically. Her name is Meghan Cotner, she is 18, and this is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for her. She left her phone, her keys, and her car behind. This is not believed to be a runaway.
Please share no matter where you are and help return her to her family or at least make a safety call or something. Signal boost, tumblr!!!

Please repost this guys!

I hope this is the post you were wanting me to signal boost.

ciarachimera:

aspensine:

aspensine:

ATTENTION!!!!!

This girl is believed to be in extreme danger. She went missing from her home in Grovetown, GA yesterday morning and is believed to be with a 28 year old male headed towards Oklahoma. Witness reports say they saw a young female who looks like her trying to climb out the back of a black SUV in Richmond County before it drove off erratically. Her name is Meghan Cotner, she is 18, and this is COMPLETELY out of the ordinary for her. She left her phone, her keys, and her car behind. This is not believed to be a runaway.

Please share no matter where you are and help return her to her family or at least make a safety call or something. Signal boost, tumblr!!!

Please repost this guys!

I hope this is the post you were wanting me to signal boost.

(via gorillajean)